A Widow's Need For Balance In Life

How Being Too Busy Will Prevent You From Moving Through Loss And One Simple Thing You Can Do To Reclaim Control

To all the busy grievers out there, whether you are aware or not, there’s a fine line between keeping busy after a loss yet not being too busy to grieve and ultimately heal. Take it from me, I was once that person. I will admit, I still struggle every now and then when I find myself immersed in work with little or no time for basic self-care, such as cooking my meals and eating well, or doing something I truly enjoy to feed the spirit. The challenge is finding that balance.

With all things in life, a healthy balance is key to successfully navigating life. It is quite common for some grievers to numb themselves with busyness because to be busy does not allow any time to fall into depression or to address feelings such as sadness, anger, fear, guilt, etc. Some believe busyness to the point of exhaustion leads to better sleep at night, only to be disappointed. It is normally during the still of the night that emotions and thoughts run rampant as we fail to address them during the day.

In order to move through any grieving process, it is of utmost importance to address and feel your feelings, every single bit of them. If you’re too busy being busy, then this is impossible to accomplish.

The Need For Balance In life

As mentioned earlier, a healthy balance is key to a harmonious life. It ensures your growth as an individual, both spiritually and physically, and secures your mental peace and well-being. After the loss of my husband and my rock, I allowed myself to become so focused on being busy that I ignored all the warning signs my body was telling me. Needless to say, I suffered the consequences of an ambulance ride to the ER and months of painful rehabilitation.

Balancing Busy-ness With Still-ness

If you are feeling stuck, here is an activity that you can do. Actually, it’s more of a Q&A sort of activity. See the questions below and when you have made your list, ask yourself “Is this is a healthy balance?”

As you think about these questions, note that the level of appropriate busyness is different for each person and may change over time. Find activities that resonate with your soul at this present moment.

Here are some examples of a good balance: